It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.
In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.
Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partners.
If you’re beginning to feel as if your partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for. Watch out for these red flags and if you’re experiencing one or more of them in your relationship, call the hotline to talk about what’s going on.
Telling you that you can never do anything right
Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs
Controlling every penny spent in the household
Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
Preventing you from making your own decisions
Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
Preventing you from working or attending school
Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Where can I go for help?
Take your safety seriously and dial 911 at the first sign of danger! There are many helpful resources depending on your needs. We highly recommend the following resources:
PATHWAYS FOR CHANGE
24 HOUR HOTLINE 800-870-5905
24 HOUR HOTLINE 1-508-755-9030
Emergency Shelter in Massachusetts: SafeLink
Massachusetts: National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Christian Crisis Intervention Hotline: 1-866-86-ABUSE (22873)
Be cautious in who you tell. Speak with your pastor (s) first. Having the mindset of 'ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS'
Speak to HR
There are policies now in place regarding Domestic Violence
At VOT we take your situation seriously. If you need someone to speak with, give us a call at Voices of Truth Center in Gardner
When you think of domestic abuse, physical or verbal assault are probably the first things that come to mind. Unfortunately, financial abuse is often overlooked, even though it occurs in 99% of all domestic violence cases. The effects of financial abuse can last for years or even decades after victims escape abusive relationships.
Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt but in in general, include tactics to conceal information, limit the victim’s access to assets, or reduce accessibility to the family finances. Financial abuse – along with emotional, physical, and sexual abuse – includes behaviors to intentionally manipulate, intimidate, and threaten the victim in order to entrap that person in the relationship. In some cases, financial abuse is present throughout the relationship and in other cases financial abuse becomes present when the survivor is attempting to leave or has left the relationship.
When an abuser takes control of or limits access to shared or individual assets or limits the current or future earning potential of the victim as a strategy of power and control, that is economic abuse. In economic abuse the abuser separates the victim from their own resources, rights and choices, isolating the victim financially and creating a forced dependency for the victim and other family members